100 Acts of Love: Kim Hamer's Journey of Supporting Her Husband Through Cancer
After fourteen years of marriage, Kim Hamer is thrown into a tumultuous journey of navigating the best and worst of her marriage as her husband's stage four cancer diagnosis shifts their lives into chaos and irony.
Kim Hamer is the author of "100 Acts of Love: A Girlfriend's Guide to Loving Your Friend Through Cancer or Loss," an easy-to-read book filled with practical, quick, and effective ways to support a friend or coworker. Kim experienced firsthand the kindness of others when her husband passed away from cancer in 2009.
After fourteen years of marriage, Kim Hamer is thrown into a tumultuous journey of navigating the best and worst of her marriage as her husband's stage four cancer diagnosis shifts their lives into chaos and irony.
"Cancer or some type of tragedy brings out the best in your marriage and the worst in your marriage. So there's this sort of like, who are you now? Do I really like you? Do I like myself? What happened?" - Kim Hamer
Kim Hamer is the author of 100 Acts of Love: A Girlfriend's Guide to Loving Your Friend Through Cancer or Loss an easy-to-read book filled with practical, quick, and effective ways to support a friend or coworker. Kim experienced firsthand the kindness of others when her husband passed away from cancer in 2009.
Kim Hamer and her husband were a young couple living in Los Angeles with their three children, juggling sports and birthday parties. Unexpectedly, Kim's husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer, and they were thrown into a roller coaster of treatments and appointments. After his death, Kim discovered the importance of being specific when offering support, as not everyone knew how to help. She learned that small gestures can go a long way in showing love and care for someone going through a difficult time.
In this episode, you will learn the following:
1. Discovering ways to support someone going through a tragedy - What are the best ways to show up and be supportive?
2. Navigating changes to parenting styles - How can parents adjust their parenting styles when roles shift?
3. Understanding the impact of drugs on mood - What are the potential side effects of drugs used to treat cancer?
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Kim Hamer is the author of 100 Acts of Love a Girlfriend's Guide to Loving Your Friend Through Cancer or Loss.
My husband was diagnosed with cancer five days after our daughter was hit by a car. It was definitely the hardest time in my life. When he died, our children were twelve, nine, and seven. It was a really difficult time.
He was the kindest, gentlest, firm disciplinarian.
Most people in their situation are not going to answer that call because they don't know what they need. I often tell people be as specific as possible.
If you could hold on to one memory of your husband forever, what would it be and why?
The author says her husband's cancer battle was difficult, but she had the courage to say goodbye. She says the second hardest moment was giving her children the chance to say their dad's goodbye.
Did your kids have any fear of losing you after they lost their dad? I marched everyone to the support group, and I feel so grateful. The advice we were told as parents were to tell them the plan if we die.
I think what I wish I had known was really to spend less time being resentful and more time just loving him. For caregivers who are trying to support caregivers, really try to let it go.
I saw the power of community, my outside community, and helping with my medical community.
Thriver Rapid Fire
I really focus on cancer in the workforce. For those who have cancer, go to cancer and careers. com. If you're a widow, I'm going to tell you to go to Soaring Spirits Foundation.
Kim Hamer
Speaker/Author/Advocate
On April 16, 2009, Kim Hamer watched her 44-year-old husband take his last breath. During his illness and after his death, she was amazed by the helpful ways their coworkers, bosses, friends, and family supported them. Kim started calling their kind actions "acts of love." Kim Hamer is the author of 100 Acts of Love: A Girlfriend's Guide to Loving Your Friend through Cancer or Loss, an easy-to-read book filled with 100 practical, quick, and effective ways to support a friend or coworker.